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CHURCH IMPROVEMENT : BUILDING A CHURCH THAT HONORS GOD AND LOVES PEOPLE BY PASSING ON OUR FAITH TO THE NEXT GENERATIONEXODUS 10:1-2INTRODUCTION I’m going to do something today that I rarely do. In 8 years of preaching in this church I’ve only done this a couple of other times. I’m going to give a topical sermon. Normally, my goal is to take a passage of Scripture and make plain to you what it says. Today, I’m going to summarize what I believe the Bible teaches us in a wide variety of places about how the children of Christians become adults that trust and love Christ. We are in the fourth week of a 5 week series entitled, “Church Improvement: Building a Church that Delights in God and Loves People”. In this series we are trying to examine some of the biblical principles that guide us in how we seek to be a church that belongs to Jesus. As you can see from the program, the title of today’s message is, “by passing on our faith to the next generation”. If you are here this morning and you are not a parent or perhaps your children are grown and out of your home, you may be tempted to think that what I am about to say has nothing to do with you. Nothing could be further from the truth. As we just heard read in Exodus 10:1-2, God says there are two reasons he delivered the Hebrews out of Egypt. First, so that they could tell their children and grandchildren how great God is. The second is so that they would know that He alone is God. The purpose of salvation is to enable us to see how great God is and so that we can pass on that knowledge to our children and grandchildren. It is to be the concern of all who love Christ and His kingdom that the knowledge of God be passed on to the next generation that is among us. While parents are the primary agents in that process, the entire community of faith has a part in it. Look around at all the children God has placed in our church and then realize that God has saved you so that you can tell by word and life his great saving work to these children and young people. There has never been a more difficult time than the present to pass on faith in Christ to children and youth. Mark DeVries, in his insightful book, “Family-Based Youth Ministry”, argues that what makes our task particularly difficult at this time is not our secular culture, not our sex and violence saturated media or our godless educational institutions. Rather what makes it difficult for children to move into an adult life full of faith is the isolation of children and youth from adults. “In neighborhoods, schools, social activities, their own families and even at church, young people are afforded less and less opportunity to be with adults…Most young people grow up in neighborhoods populated by wandering children and dogs but very few visible adults. Sadly enough, the closest thing some children have to an available adult is 911…(According to one study) one in four young people now indicate they have never had a meaningful conversation with their father…76 percent of the 1,200 teens surveyed in a “USA Today” poll actually want their parents to spend more time with them.” He uses this analogy. “Imagine what would happen if a group of inexperienced junior-highers were given the task of teaching each other how to scuba dive. One boy could argue that he understands how it is done—he’s seen it a hundred times on television. One of the girls might remember a book about sea explorers she checked out in the third grade. And a third person might brag that he has the entire “Sea Hunt” series on videocassette. They might even all agree that one or more of them know what they are talking about. But if they actually attempted to teach each other to scuba dive, the consequences could be fatal.” He then says, “Teenagers will not learn the skills required of mature adults in a peer-centered youth Sunday-school class. They will not learn these skills by talking with their friends. The process occurs as the less mature repeatedly have the opportunity to observe, dialogue and collaborate with the more mature. By denying (children &) teenagers opportunities for this kind of involvement with adults, our culture sends many youth into the “adult” years relationally, mentally and morally unprepared for the challenges of adulthood.” This morning I want to set forth three principles that must characterize our church if we are to successfully pass on our faith to the next generation. MAIN POINT A church will succeed in building children into faith-filled adults if: I. It aims at the right objective (Philippians 3: 7-17, p. ____) When we look at our own children and the children of our church we must be able to answer the question, “What do I want to be true of these children 20 years from now?”, without stuttering. It has been said that if you aim at nothing you are sure to hit it. We must have a clear vision and goal towards which we are aiming the children God gives to us both personally and as a church. For some it is enough if their children get through the teen years without being addicted to drugs, pregnant or in jail. Others fear their children being bored by church and so are looking for a place where their children will be entertained. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard well meaning campus workers and youth pastors say that the reason they plan so many games, concerts and other entertainment oriented events is so that non-Christians will know that Christians can have fun too. We cannot “out-fun” or “out-entertain” our culture, nor should we aim to attract youth or anyone else in this way. The Scriptures are quite clear about what are the things that God wants to use to attract the non-believing to himself: the truth of his gospel, the love of Christians for one another and our hope filled suffering. We are the church, not Walt Disney. If you win the allegiance of people with entertainment, then you have not won them to Christ but to a fun filled Christianity. Others want a place where their children can be protected from all the evil influences in the world. Some want the church to impart strong moral values and the self-discipline necessary to be a successful adult. Wanting our children to be protected from evil influences and to gain a strong moral framework are not bad desires. But they do not come close to what ought to be our consuming vision for our children. Turn with me to Philippians 3:7-17 to see how the apostle Paul describes what is to be the consuming passion of every Christian and therefore the end to which we are working with our children. Read it. I want my children to want Christ more than anything else in life and to live a life consumed with pursuing him. I want them to trust in the real Christ for salvation. I want them to consider all that this world offers as nothing compared to having Christ. I want my children to love Jesus Christ more than they love me. I'm not after moral, well-behaved, socially well adjusted children. I'm not after children who know how to obey the rules out of fear or a desire to please people. I am after children who believe in Jesus and by that faith live a life that considers him better than video games, good grades, friends, a good marriage and a successful career. I am after children who rejoice in being loved by Christ and out of that joy love to obey him. My children are not going to learn how to be passionate about Christ from other children or from other adults who they see only sporadically. They are going to passionately pursue Christ by being with me and other adults who love Christ a lot. Look at v. 17. This is the word of every parent to every son and daughter. I want my children to imitate my faith, to follow the pattern of life I have lived. I want my children to imitate the faith of the other adults in this church who are following Christ. Michael Josephen, in a recent survey of middle and high school students, discovered that 47% admitted having stolen from a store, 70% admitted having cheated on an exam and 92% admitted having lied to a parent in the previous year. He then says this in commenting on why there has been a rise in unethical behavior among our youth, “When you ask parents whether they’d rather have a good kid or a rich kid, they’ll tell you they’d rather have their children be good. But if you look at their behavior, and the children’s interpretation of what’s important to the parents, it’s getting ahead, getting good grades, getting into the best school.” What do you want for your children and the children of our church? Do you want your children and the children of this church to follow your example? Do you trust Christ and live out your faith in such a way that you can say to your child or to a teenager in our church, "live like me?" Is your vision for your child and the children of our church, God’s vision or some lesser one or none at all? A church will succeed in building children into faith-filled adults if…
II. It warmly welcomes children into its midst (Mark 10: 13-16, p.______) Look with me at Mark 10: 13. Notice the disciple’s view of children. They see children as an interruption of what is really important. Jesus has more important things to do then to welcome and bless children into his company. Children are not significant enough to warrant the attention of Jesus. Jesus was indignant with them, their attitude and their behavior. This is a very strong word and it is the only place where Jesus is said to be indignant with his disciples. He is delighted to welcome children into his presence and to bless them. NOTE: He is not saying that children are automatically a part of God’s kingdom. He is saying that the kingdom of God is for those like children who are weak and powerless and dependent. Only those who humbly ask for and gladly receive the kingdom in the same way children depend on their parents to care for them are members of God's kingdom. Jesus, in contrast to the disciples, takes the children in his arms and embraces them and blesses them. There is an implied promise in this picture. If we will bring our children to Jesus he will receive them. Now it is important to understand that while Jesus is no longer physically present he is spiritually present in his church. If you ask, “How can I bring my children to Jesus?” The answer is, bring them to church. Not simply this hour but to all the places the church meets. It is in the context of the church as Christ’s body that Jesus blesses children with His salvation. We together are Christ on this earth and so we are to receive the children among us and to bless them. They are not a hindrance to the work of God but they are the focus of God's work through us. We have to be careful that we do not treat children in the same way the disciples did. When children are around, things can get a little messy, a little noisy. Yet, children need to be with us so they can learn to know and worship Jesus. We need children to be with us so we can learn from them how to receive the kingdom of God. It is no help to them or to us to segregate children from the life of the church. The whole act of separating children from the church when it meets is a very modern invention and has more to do with the selfishness of adults than it has to do with what will benefit children. Welcoming children into our midst is not merely putting up with their childishness and immaturity but initiating conversations with them and spending time with them. We are to welcome them personally and corporately. Mark DeVries shares that when he was moving from his first pastorate as a youth pastor he wrote a letter for the church newsletter that helped him to clarify what “successful” youth ministry looked like. In the letter he said the successfulness of his ministry with youth would not be seen for at least 10 years. The “success” of the ministry was not in how many kids were involved at the time he was there, but rather in how many actively sought Christ as adults. When he wrote his book it was more than 10 years after he left that first church, he writes: “Almost without exception, those young people who are growing in their faith as adults were teenagers who fit into one of two categories: either (1) they came from families where Christian growth was modeled in at least one of their parents, or (2) they had developed such significant connections with adults within the church that it had become an extended family for them.” My own experience of working with college students for twenty years confirms this. I met scores of students who had been actively involved in high school youth groups who had absolutely no interest in pursuing Christ. Generally, the Christian students who came to campus and sought us out and actively pursued Christ either had godly parents or had a significant relationship with a godly adult in high school. You see, programs can build attendance but relationships build disciples. When we welcome children and youth to live with us and when we intentionally involve them in our lives, both as parents and as adults in the church, then they will have the opportunity to meet Jesus in us. But when we continually segregate them and exclude them from our lives, they will not have the opportunity to be blessed by Christ. A church will succeed in building children into faith-filled adults if
III. It inspires and equips and supports parents to teach their children the gospel (Dt. 6: 4-9, p. ____) The Bible, from beginning to end, sees Christian parents as the primary teachers of their children in matters of faith. Read Deuteronomy 6: 4-9. A church does no favor to its children and to its parents when it communicates that if the parent will turn their child over to them for 3 hours every week, the child will become a mature Christian adult, because it just isn’t so. It is a simple fact that no one influences children more than parents. For good and for ill the influence of parents is felt in the lives of children throughout all of their life. The Bible, in commanding parents to teach their children about God is simply requiring parents to use their influence for the greatest good in their children’s lives. Not too long ago, our predecessors in the faith knew that if parents did not take their duty seriously, the church and the broader society was in trouble. Thomas Manton wrote: “a family is the seminary of the church and state and if children be not well principled (taught) there, everything will go wrong.” Richard Baxter who wrote “The Reformed Pastor” which for over 250 years was the standard description of what it meant to be a “successful” pastor in a local church wrote this: “How can we (pastors) be successful at building spiritual life in the congregation if the work be cast on us alone; and (parents, especially fathers) of families neglect that necessary duty of their own, by which they are bound to help us? If any good be begun by the ministry (work of the pastor and other spiritual leaders in the congregation) in any soul, a careless, prayerless, worldly family is like to stifle it, or very much hinder it. Whereas, if you could but get parents of families to do their duty … what abundance of good might be done! I beseech you, therefore, if you desire the reformation and welfare of your people, do all you can to promote family religion.” The Bible knows nothing of the modern notion that children should be left to decide for themselves on matters of such importance. Rather, it condemns in the strongest terms those parents who are negligent of their duties in raising children in the faith. Tell the story of Joshua and the generation of Israelites who walked with God 40 years in the desert, had Moses give them the book of Deuteronomy with all of its instructions to tell their children about God and all he had done and then conquered Canaan. Then in Judges 2: 10 & 12 we are told, “After that whole generation had been gathered to their fathers, another generation grew up, who knew neither the Lord nor what he had done for Israel…They forsook the Lord, the God of their fathers, who had brought them out of Egypt. They followed and worshiped various gods of the peoples around them.” An entire generation was faithful to the Lord and walked with God but their children “did not know the Lord or what he had done”. How did this happen? How could it be that an entire generation did not know what the Lord had done when the parents had been specifically commanded to tell the children what the Lord had done? The faithful parents failed to pass on their faith to their children. It is my prayer and one of the most important tasks in my life to pass on my faith to my children. It is also my passionate desire to motivate every parent who the Lord brings under my influence to take this work seriously. As I have talked with many of you about this work of passing on your faith to your children many of you have told me how inadequate you feel. First, join the club. But second, “The church that builds children into faith-filled adults not only inspires parents to teach their children, it also equips parents to do the work.” In Ephesians 4:11-16 Paul says that the task of church leadership is not to do all the work but rather to prepare the membership of the church to do the work. Pastor-teachers are to equip each member of Christ's body to do "works of service" that will build up the entire church. As Ephesians 6:4 makes clear, one of the chief “works of service” to be done is the instructing of children in the faith. It is the parent’s primary responsibility to do this work. However, it is my duty and the church’s duty as a whole to make sure that parents are equipped to do that work. You see, you cannot pass on what you do not possess. Your children are going to love what you love and know what you know. So, the first work of our church is to make sure that each adult and especially each parent that God brings to us is passionate about pursuing Christ as the treasure of their lives. It is the duty of our elders to make sure that each adult and especially each parent is growing in their experience of the grace of God and in their knowledge of his word. I don’t think the Christian life or being a Christian parent is very complicated. I think both are incredibly difficult because both are supernatural works. Being a Christian and being a Christian parent goes against everything I am by nature. So I am engaged in a daily struggle to be a Christian and to be a Christian parent. It is a struggle I want every parent in here to engage in with all their heart. The actual activity I believe we each need to engage in is very simple. Each parent needs to daily seek Christ in prayer and Bible reading. They need to daily call on Christ to give them the ability to seek all their satisfaction in him and to enable them to be a Christian at work and at home. Then you need to spend time with your children and teenagers, daily is the goal, reading the bible and praying with them. We need to daily be involved in conversations about the gospel. This is where the catechism we are using can be helpful to promote such discussions. Finally, you simply need to spend time with your children in the various activities of life, living as a Christian. As we engage in this work we need to remember that a major part of being a Christian is confessing our sins to God and to one another. God is not looking for perfect parents and perfect adults, he is looking for parents and adults who are growing in grace and who have the humility to acknowledge their sins and thus grow in their dependence upon Christ. If you will do this, you will be well on the road to passing on your faith to your children. Next to being a Christian and loving my wife, the hardest thing I have to do in life is be a parent. Parenting exposes my sin. Parenting exposes my ignorance and inadequacy like nothing else. The task of forming another human life is daunting and often frustrating. It is easy to throw in the towel, to stop caring and to pursue things that are a lot more fun and easy like work or hunting or reading or working on the house or mastering my computer. It’s way easier to do what the majority of American parents do, sit the kid in front of the TV and go do something else. Or get the kid involved in so many activities outside the home that you rarely have to deal with them in the home. Rarely do people persist in right behavior without the support of others who accept us where we are at, without judging, but who encourage us to persevere in what we really want to do. All of us need partners to run in the race with us. We need people to cheer us on and help us up after we fall down. Hebrews 10:25 says, “Let us consider how to spur one another on to love and good deeds.” It is in the fellowship of believers that I am encouraged to persist in the hard task of seeking Christ and seeking to pass on my faith to my children. Jane and I cannot do this work alone. We need the godly examples of other Christian adults in our children’s lives. We need the love and support and sometimes the correction of our godly friends to stick the course, to not give up. In a culture that prizes youth and entertainment and self-indulgence, we need the friendship of other families who are willing to swim against the tide, to be different not only in what we say we believe but in how we actually live. In a culture that has given most of the tasks of life over to the experts we need help to believe that we can actually do what God calls us to do, "bring our children up in the training and instruction of the Lord." Our aim as a church from the beginning has been to be a church that is truly multi-generational. Where older parents have relationships with younger parents and younger children have relationships with older children. We envision a church where children and youth regularly relate to adults while learning together and serving together. I passionately desire to see a church that is radically counter-culture in refusing to separate teenagers into their own youth ghetto, cut off from what they so desperately need, relationships with godly parents and adults. We have been seeking to implement this vision of an inter-generational church that equips parents for about eight years. How are we doing? On one hand I think we have to agree with Mark DeVries when he said we really won’t know how we are doing until we can see what happens in the lives of those children who grow up among us and become adults. In the present it is hard to measure because what we are aiming at is taking place in homes and in our relationships. You cannot really program what we want to see happen. The success of this model depends upon the quality of the relationships in our homes and the ways in which parents are spending time with their children. It depends upon families and individuals initiating relationships with others who are not of the same age as they. It depends upon us being in each other’s homes. It depends upon adults initiating conversations with young people without being given the assignment of being a youth worker. It depends upon youth being responsive to the initiatives of adults. It depends upon teenagers accepting the fact that they are becoming adults and the goal of life is not to have fun but to know Christ and to live as if knowing Christ is the goal of life. It is relational work primarily, not program work. It depends on people loving one another for the sake of Jesus, not for the sake of finding comfortable friendships. There are a few things we have to help us. Our Faith Training Seminar continues to be an excellent introduction and motivation for the adults in our congregation to be motivated and equipped to embrace this model. Our next seminar is going to be March 4th. If you have not attended this 5 hour seminar or if it’s been a long time since you have, then I would encourage you to be sure to attend. Our basic small groups, the Discovery Groups, are designed to be inter-generational so that there is at least a chance that our teens can get to know other adults and begin the process of entering into the dialogue with adults. We have a myriad of excellent resources in our library to help parents and other adults be better equipped to embrace this vision of an inter-generational community that passes on our faith to the next generation. Let me name a few that I wish every adult in our church would make use of: “Family Based Youth Ministry”, “The Church and Youth Culture”, “The Christian Family in Troubled Times”, “Your Child’s Profession of Faith”, “Childhood Conversion”, "Teaching Minds, Training Hearts," and “Parenting in the Pew.” We have a Next Generation Ministry Team that is currently led by Julia Swanson. They are in the process of evaluating all that we are doing and seeking to find new ways to motivate and equip us to be the kind of church that is building the faith of our children and youth through inter-generational relationships and through equipping parents to pass on their faith. I did not grow up in a family that talked about Christ and the gospel at home. Our family did not begin attending church regularly until I was 12 years old. Our church had a youth group to which I went. We did most of the dumb things that youth groups are famous for. However, I hardly remember anything that we did as a youth group. What I remember is Norris Breitbach taking the time to talk with me about his own faith and Wayne Wagner inviting me to go with him to a men's bible study. I remember working with my dad on the church building. I remember being asked by adults in the congregation to help with various projects and programs. I remember being treated like I had something to offer. While I did not become a Christian until I was gone from the church and living away from home, yet those relationships had a profound influence upon my coming to Christ and upon knowing how to live in the church once I had come to Christ. Nobody had to tell me to go to church and be involved when I cam to Christ. I knew what I needed to do because of those adults. I long for us to be a church where our homes are full of discussion about the gospel and prayer and worship and where our teenagers are learning about the gospel from other adults and being treated as if they have something to offer. We have made a good beginning but we have a long way to go.
A church will succeed in building children into faith-filled adults if
© Copyright 2006 John Swanson.
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